Three weeks ago I left Myanmar after nearly three years of living there.
Honestly, I had expected more tears. But I think I somehow I feel so hopeful about the futures of my friends and students there that I couldn’t feel too heartbroken. Or it could be my strong intuitions that I will be back in the golden land sooner rather than later. Or possibly I’m just really excited for what is to come and I’m attempting to block out the emotional realities of leaving behind a place that really does feel like home.
My final weeks were such a blur. I was desperately trying to tie up loose ends at a job I loved dearly while balancing time to say bye to friends and students, with some extra moments on the side needed to just step back and soak up the environs that I would soon be missing so much.
Thank goodness one of my final weeks in the country included the epic and most definitely under-rated thingyan (Burmese New Year or Water Festival). This festival is indescribable so I don’t know where to begin except to say that it is a city-wide water-fight in Yangon and to be running around with friends on that day is unmatched by any other holiday I’ve ever celebrated.
I also was able to visit Kayah State during my final month. This marked the 7th and concluding state for me as I have somehow managed to reach the other six (Rakhine, Chin, Karen, Mon, Shan, and Kachin). I haven’t been able to visit all seven regions yet, so that is something to look forward to! Loikaw, the capital of Kayah, was beautifully ringed by hills and had a sleepy relaxed feel which is just what we were looking for after thingyan.
This past year I started the practice of meditation – in a very faltering, one-step-forward-two-steps-back kind of way. I’m not sure if it’s my mind playing tricks on me, but somehow life in Myanmar, even in a city as chaotic as Yangon, does somehow seem more conducive to keep a habit like this up. I attended some classes regularly and found myself walking around my neighborhood in less of a daze thinking about all the impending tasks that needed to be done, but instead with much more focused and mindful movement. The way meditation rewires your brain is definitely useful for those long traffic lights on your way to work. And so, in my last week and a half, I was doing a brief meditation retreat that had me waking up at 4:30 AM several mornings to go to the stunning Aung Min Gaun Monastery.
Actually, I went to meditate there on my very last day in Yangon, which I think ultimately contributed to my over-tiredness and last-minute packing, but still definitely promoted a sense of calm on a day where I could easily have gotten emotionally overwrought. Because the truth is I don’t feel ready to leave. And no matter how much I try to convince myself otherwise, it could be quite a while before I’m able to make it back there.
I’m thankful to all of my students, friends, and co-workers that made my last few weeks so wonderful with surprise phone calls, home visits, and gifts. I do have to say though that saying goodbye after goodbye to so many that you’ve learned so much from and had such good adventures with is painfully difficult.
This blog will be one of my best coping mechanisms this summer. I’m sure I’ll write about the transition back to the U.S., but I’m also going to need to finally jot down all my thoughts on my favorite trips, foods, books, sights, and celebrations of Myanmar. The rest of my toolbox for my inevitable homesickness includes studying and speaking the Burmese language, staying in touch with friends there, attempting some Myanmar recipes, and maybe even going so far as scrapbooking with all of the random ticket stubs and bus tickets that I tend to hoard.
Now wish me luck because I’m headed off to do the Trans-mongolian railway for three weeks! I’m travelling from Beijing to St. Petersburg via Mongolia, and all aboard my favorite mode of transportation- the train. Definitely more on that to come soon.
Exploring Myanmar 